It's the Final Countdown
This time next week, we will have set sail aboard the Queen Mary from New York bound for Southampton. Seven days across the Atlantic as I’ve already mentioned. But that isn’t actually the start of our journey. Rather it begins on Thursday, when we board a plane bound for New York - Mr T , the WonderDog and I - on our merry flight across the country to meet the ship.
As Shadow is a registered support dog, she is allowed to fly in the cabin with us for US flights, which is a great privilege and one I do not take lightly. The gravity is also not lost on Mr T, last time we took Shadow on a plane he said he would ditch us at the first sign of trouble. I, of course, had 100 percent faith in Shadow, or at least in my ability to get us out of any scrape that might occur, but Mr T was dubious.
And fair enough too, as Shadow was going through a bit of a barking at strangers phase at the time, so it was touch and go on how she would do on her first flight. Barking at the flight attendants was Mr T’s worry, or freaking out on take off, or getting us and the whole plane diverted for some other infraction. But as in most things where Shadow’s concerned, she did us proud. She sat in my lap the whole way and snoozed through five hours of air time on the way to Hawaii, no doubt dreaming of tropical shores. I could barely walk when we got off but that was a small price to pay for a happy woofer.
This time however, we’ll be weighed down with 8 bags, the stress levels might be a tad higher given we’re packing up and leaving the country for a while, we land at Newark, recently voted the worst airport in the US on the “misery index,” and the flight is longer. Once we land, we then have to try and convince taxi/Uber drivers to let us in their cars with a dog. That is to say, in more simple terms, there are many points at which it could go proper tits up.
By the time we get to the Queen Mary, I’d wager we’ll be frazzled, and we won't have left the country yet! But by all accounts the Queen Mary will be the perfect salve for all our ills, we'll be sauntering around in luxury and I’m sure we will be relaxed and refreshed by the time we hit the UK. But not for long, as we get to do it all again!
Yes you heard that right. Because we could only get Shadow on the December crossing, instead of January, and we have commitments in December, we’re coming back to the US for a short 9 day trip between Christmas and New Year. Shadow will be staying in the UK during that time, living the life of luxury with dear friends in Kent while we slog back and forth across the Atlantic once more.
Which means I’m in the process of trying to put down on paper an instruction manual for the WonderDog so our friends know the important stuff about food and walks and such. But where to start? Or, more importantly, where to stop? Those of you with dogs know how quirky even the normal ones can be. How to explain to folks the idiosyncrasies of one’s canine?
Shadow’s not afraid of many things, she’ll tell you as much herself.
Earth quake? “Nope slept through it.”(So much for an animal’s sixth sense).
Raging wild fires? “Again, why wake up really?”
Howling sirens, fireworks, thunder? “Nope, all good here chief.”
Being left alone? “Adios, I quite fancied a nap anyway.”
The car, the vacuum cleaner, OOH THE VET? “Whatevs!”
But if you dare hiccup, or sound like you’re about to hiccup, well then it’s the end of the world for Shadow. Bees, or anything that sounds like a bee equals abject terror. Smoke alarms or any type of practically silent beep that might be mistaken for a smoke alarm? RUN FOR THE HILLS!
As I sit here scratching my head about all of this, I happen to mention to Mr T that I’ve no idea why Shadow is terrified of such weird things.
Him: “I do. The bee thing is totally on you.”
Me: “What? I’m not frightened of bees! Don’t be ridiculous.”
Him: “Remember that time you got stung by a bee and you were screaming and shouting and carrying on like a mad woman? Yeah, that.”
Ok so yes, I did get stung by a bee, but it was totally a KILLER bee. Shadow and I were out on a walk and the bloody thing stung us both in the space of 10 seconds and then chased us (I’m not kidding) 100 metres back to the house, through the garden, into the house, into the hallway and probably would have stung us to death in the bedroom if I hadn't slammed the door and screamed through the keyhole for Jason to kill it!
Me: “Fine. The bee is my fault. But that was a serious situation, we almost DIED! Anyway, the hiccup thing is totally you.”
Him: “No way. How?"
Me: “You get the hiccups when you've had a few.”
Him: “What?”
Me: “Like every time. Bit tiddly, get the hiccups. It's a thing.”
Him: “It's not a thing! And besides, what does that have to do with Shadow?”
Me: “You must have gotten piddled and frightened her being all hiccupey weird.”
Him: “I don’t remember that.”
Me: “Of course not, you were tipsy. But Shadow remembers, don’t you sweetheart.”
Him: “Hmm. Ok who did the smoke alarm?”
Me: “That one I understand. As soon as it goes off we all jump up and start flapping our arms and tea towels and slamming doors. I’d say both of us on that one.”
Him: “Fair.”
And so it goes, as we try to put down on paper all the superstitions, habits and quirks that make up our Shadow. It makes me realize, though, just how wonderful dogs are, not because of the weird things that they might not like, but because of all the things they do like. Shadow is happy literally doing most anything. Every activity that doesn’t involve a hiccuping bee setting off smoke alarms, she’s happy with. Some things make her absolutely delirious with happiness and others make her ecstatic. All in all, life is one long joyous affair if you’re a well loved dog.
Wouldn’t it be great to live like that? I mean how amazing would it be to really see the wonder in everything, good, bad and in between. What a way to experience the world. Run an errand - so exciting! Sniff the air - oh happy day! You’re going to give me a little bit of chicken? BEST. DAY. EVER! Dogs have it figured out. Maybe you have to, I don't want to assume that you don't live a joyous life with one moment better than the next. But I think I'm safe to assume that even those extremely happy folks among us, and I include myself in that category, could do with some extra joy every now and again.
So I’m going to make a promise to you right now. On our trip around Europe, I’m going to try and infuse a little Shadow happy into everything we do. Even when things go wrong, dogs are generally wagging bundles of happiness. So my promise to you is that even when the shit hits the fan, and by god it will, I’ll try and wag my tail just as much as Shadow. And by wag my tail, I mean see the funny side and enjoy the ride. And maybe wiggle my arse a bit, whatever it takes.
And that starts with getting one woman and her dog through Airport Security and across the country on Thursday. Mr T will be on bag duty struggling with a heavy load, watching us wag our way through TSA. What a sight to behold!
See you in New York!
